In the still presence of my heart, which wears this body like a medal of honor, beaming at every scar and mark from the many battles we’ve faced. In the face of myself—which just so happens to also be the face of my enemy—I see beauty. I love her more than I could ever say with words. I have been the witness to the wins, but also to the losses. The sick nights spent beneath the world.

I think that is why, this week, what I have been unable to stop calling out is this homecoming. There are ancestors on my shoulders, and every time I step closer to myself, they sing and cry out with joy. The sun kisses my cheeks like he’s been waiting to see the soul shine from my eyes for eternities—and he has. And so has the mirror. And we didn’t celebrate our wins before because they were battles, not wars, and I wasn’t done kicking my own ass for the sake of understanding.

The flame of my soul was on pilot for so long, keeping my heart just warm enough to love me when the rest of me was nearly too cold to know how. And it was a long and lonely winter. So I am celebrating the walk into the sun. This isn’t just a battle won. This is recognition. This is the walk of honor into my body, that I may now shower her with the love and care she’s been missing all along. And honestly, for most of that winter, we were sure we wouldn’t make it out alive. And maybe it isn’t—but it sure does feel miraculous.

I know I am not the only war-torn human smiling from truth again for the first time in many lifetimes, and I know that there are still brothers and sisters lost beneath the weight of their shadows. And so I will keep telling stories of hope and resurrection. I will keep my love light on, because family—if you need me, I’m here. With eyes that can see how worthy and beautiful you are. And I want you to keep going, even when you feel certain that you aren’t coming out alive. I am proof that you are. If there is a pilot light, there’s still a fire.

I love you.

EH

For a place to chat and for guided integration, come find me at the sancturary: https://www.skool.com/mneme-aeturnum-3878