In the early morning, there’s a quiet that is unlike any other. It’s something I cherish fully. My coffee. My tobacco. My quiet.

I consider it a safe space—though it also deserves to be recognized as a place where the shadow is free to speak… or echo… as it feels to me today.

As I walk the spiral of healing and forgiveness, I notice that some of her coils wind tighter around me than others. Symbolically, we are moving through the final coil of the snake before entering the Fire Horse year, and maybe that’s why I’m being called to this subject matter this morning. Today, I’ve been asked to sit with the echoes of the shadow. They want to be witnessed. And so, here we are—together.

If you didn’t already know, I’ll share this plainly: I am a recovering addict.
From my teenage years onward, I spent much of my life battling the demons of my bloodline—and later, the ones I brought upon myself by lingering far too long in the lower astral. A realm where I did not belong, though everyone seemed to know it but me.

At this moment, those demons live in remission. I’ve devoted myself to myself—my healing, my becoming—so they tend to be quiet these days. Still, I know that energy lingers at the edge of my field, waiting, listening, attuned to weakness or a low-vibrational doorway. Sometimes I hear it clearly. Sometimes—whether through food or media—I still have a moment of softness.

These echoes are constant reminders of the ways I was weaponized against myself, and of the harm I caused along the way. The difference now is this: I meet these thoughts and emotions with forgiveness, rather than with the revolving door of guilt and shame.

Looking back, it’s wild to realize how much that door kept my addictions alive. When I finally broke it down, I saw it clearly: guilt and shame were the primary fuel. Not the act itself—but the punishment afterward. Those low vibrations don’t feast on the mistake; they feast on the shame that follows it.

Truly… I was a buffet.

So now, instead of walking through that old doorway, I choose a different one: forgiveness.
When I have a weak moment, I give myself real, genuine, you can move on now forgiveness. And that feels entirely different. I’m allowed to move on. Allowed to exit the loop immediately. Allowed to stop feeding the lower attributes in real time. Allowed to straighten my spine and continue forward—right then and there.

Forgiveness in the moment.
This is healing.

Before, the loop was short and the doorway was always shame. Now, through the practice of immediate forgiveness, I pass right by it. The loop never forms.

I wanted to share this as a reminder:
You are not your past.
You are not your “poor choices.”
You are not your drug of choice.

You are a Soul.
An experiencer of life.
A creator.
A living, breathing, mini cosmic symphony.

The next time you “fuck up,” try forgiving yourself first.

This doesn’t only apply to your relationship with yourself, but to all relationships. Every person you encounter is a facet of the All—that which some call God—which is also a facet of you. We’re all healing and heading home by different routes so we don’t miss a single feeling, a single sight, a single lesson.

We like to take the scenic route, okay?

There is nothing to be afraid of.
Nothing to punish yourself for.
No deadline. No cosmic stopwatch.

And when you feel the weight of those imaginary constructs pressing in, remember: you chose the scenic route. You chose to stop and smell the flowers.

Isn’t that fucking beautiful?

Well then.
Hop to it, you beautiful stars.
Hop to it. ✨